Every night I set off to sleep I run these ridiculous scenarios in my head and it just drives me nuts. Am I supposed to learn something from all this? Was I too giving? Too kind? Too trusting? What did I do wrong? Was there something that could have been done differently? Everyone tells me it's not about me. Everyone tells me Karma is going to get her. Well, Karma certainly got me this round. What the fuck did I do?
Everyday is easier but at night, as I lie in bed, my mind wanders. It wanders to terrible places. Places I don't care to even know exist but I know that they do. For whatever reason, my love for her has gone to those places. And I'm afraid it will never return.
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